...I did NOT write this blog today, however I enjoyed reading it so much, I thought I would share with you. I hope this blesses and encourages you as it did me.
On Behalf of Men...
(Guest Post by Jake Harvey of Single Roots)
As a single Christian woman, there’s a solid chance you’ve read the book of Ruth.
Maybe a couple of times, maybe a hundred – heck, you may have even gone through a study of the thing. Ruth is a widow and selflessly dedicates herself to her mother-in-law. Boaz notices her character and dedication, he determines to redeem her, and they get married and have babies.
The kicker, though, is that she was the one who asked him to marry her. Don’t get ahead of me now. In 3:10-11 Boaz said she had done well in choosing him instead of someone who was younger (and probably dumber, too). He agreed because she was kind and excellent. She had shown her character ran deep.
This isn’t a lecture to say that you need to be more excellent, have better character and thenyou’ll be redeemed so to speak. (I’ll just say “married” from here on out) I’m saying you probably are an excellent woman of great character and you’d probably make a great wife and mother.
So, you may be asking, “Where’s my Boaz already?!” (Side note: They were relatives, but please don’t apply that to your next family reunion.)
You’ve spent the time praying, studying, reading, praying some more and trying to be proactive to find that Godly man to share your life with, but it hasn’t happened. That’s not a big deal when you’re 25, but as the years go by it may become more of a question of why God hasn’t been faithful to you in the husband department. If you seek the Kingdom first aren’t all those things supposed to be added to you?
Let’s clarify because it may sound like I’m about to encourage you to be the aggressor, find a man and ask him to marry you. Far from it. Even though things worked out well for Ruth, Boaz may be painted in too lovely a light. After all, it’s a narrative not an exhaustive history.
Have you considered that Boaz, as dreamy as he was, had gas? Lots of barley and wine isn’t exactly easy on the stomach. And when he was watching the ancient Israel equivalent of football, he didn’t want to listen to Ruth talk about how much she missed living in Moab. I also guarantee he didn’t get up in the middle of the night when little Obed was colicky. Even as good as his characteristics were, Boaz still had some flaws. It’s impossible that he was the perfect husband.
You know there’s no such thing as a perfect man, but look at how many examples there are in the Bible of women who are excellent. Ruth is one, the Proverbs 31 woman, and Esther is a good one too. Proverbs 12:4 says that an excellent wife is the crown of her husband, so if you’ve been working on being excellent, you would be wasted on a husband who didn’t recognize your value. And that’s exactly what happens when a woman gets the idea that the man she has, or the men she’s friends with, is worth settling for despite major character flaws.
Men need women. We’re less of a hazard to society and ourselves if we have a good woman who loves us. A man with an excellent wife is made better in every way, but how many women do you know who are burdened by the man they are with? Trying to share a life with a man who wants her to drop a few pounds while not recognizing how excellent she is?
On behalf of my gender, I must say we’re not all terrible, but women are more likely to be excellent while we’re more likely to be difficult. (Disclaimer: I exclude all MTV programming from my previous statement of excellence.)
God may be being faithful to you by protecting you from a bad relationship even though the loneliness makes it feel like God is withholding good things from you. You may never be married or you may just not have met your Boaz, but you need to see that your excellence is completely about who you are, not who you’re with.
If you meet someone who recognizes your qualities then I rejoice with you. But if no man ever does, it doesn’t change the fact that God has made you into a wonderful creature. Your excellence is of far more value than a ring on your finger.
