The Single Lady Whisperer

Well I recently met another Christian single young lady and as we started talking, I found myself hesitating to say certain things and in my hesistation, she would finish my thoughts? I was in awe ...how/where/when could she have heard or known what I was going to say?? Was it really possible that even with some 3,500 miles seperating us and having met only once some 10-15 years before, that we had experienced the same issues, the same rejections even the <gasp> same predjudices? ?


I wondered could this be the Single Lady Whisperer??? Did she really know all the thoughts and intents of my heart like the LORD? LOL.....OR was it simply possible that because we are unmarried in a culture of Christianity centered around couples and families that we are treated the same, struggle with the same identity crisis and therefore somehow have experienced the same life? (She encouraged me so much in the Lord, to find joy in singleness and this blog is dedicated to her thoughtfulness, prayers and understanding.  She turned my mindset around - thank you girl! She also gave me a word from the Lord that was very timely indeed!)


So, with that in mind, I wondered.....is there others out there?? If her & I have gone through this experience, then surely it is possible that you too have felt the "sting" of being treated like you are perhaps still in high school, simply because your peers no longer view you as equal.  You haven't experienced the trials of marriage, the joys of childbirth and the trials of child rearing...how could you possibly have anything to add to the conversation?  You are treated like an outsider, because the "Married-Ladies" simply have nothing to talk to you about, they have forgotten how to talk about anything besides their husband and children, somehow they have lost themselves and yet WE are viewed as shallow?   You are viewed as the potential adulteress that would steal their husbands, therefore having you at any "Family" function is taboo.  They certainly dont want you standing around talking with the men folk, the women have nothing to say to you and if you decide to attend...you are seated at the children's table and/or expected to babysit while the "adults" in the room talk. 

You are always greeted with the phrase intended as a joke, yet comes across as a slap in the face "Got a hot date tonight"????? Like all you do is date random men, just hoping that you will win the Blind-Date Russian Roulette!! Or the equally stinging question..."You are STILL NOT married" as if you have a rare and possibly contagious disease that they will need to keep their children away from. I also love the "Wow, didnt you ever want to have kids?" as if, not being married and not having kids was your ultimate goal in life?  Don't get me wrong maybe for some of you that was the goal, however for most of us.....Life Just Turned Out This Way!


Truthfully, all I want is to be treated as normal rather than the outcast, as if I may have something to add to the conversation, I am tired of being flat out ignored.  I dont mean this as a rant towards my "married" friends, most of mine are so very gracious and kind.  I intended to write this blog as a "Singles-Awareness" page. 

Friends of mine have children with Autism and are always trying to raise awareness on how to treat them, what to say, the right questions to ask, as most people are uncomfortable with a diagnosis that they just dont understand and/or just cannot relate to.....being single in a world of marriage is kinda like having Autism, you are sometimes socially awkward, there are times you just want to stare at the floor, other times you just dont fit in with the other "kids" and everyone knows it, its just no one knows what to say.....there are times when I have hated myself and my life and want to stand and disappear in the crowd, or if there was a way I could turn invisible I would have chosen THAT as my super-power!

However, as a Christian, I believe my steps are ordered of the Lord.  I have entrusted my future to Him and I have a promise of a great life and while entrusting Him with my dreams He has promised to give me the desires of my heart.  I have a commandment that I will have Joy and a life...no not just a "life" but that I would have life MORE abundant!!  I know that if and when God chooses to entrust me with the gift of marriage, that I will do my best to live every day to be the wife the Lord commands.  Yet, I hope to stay mindful of the needs of others; children, youth, singles, seniors, each age offers a struggle of a new kind and sometimes all that is necessary is a kind word, a hand on the shoulder and a statement like "I sure like being around you"!